Montag, 20. Juli 2009

Lamperl.


Ein hoffnungslos verregneter Abend in Wien, Margareten. Der Trommelwirbel der hornissengroßen Regentropfen auf dem noch brunzwarmen Pflaster der Arbeiterstraße verschluckt jegliches andere Geräusch, spült die Hundescheiße fort - kein Sackerlkacken in der Arbeiterstraße. Die Stadt schlummert bereits, beinahe, oder schnackselt, zumindest, hoffentlich, noch bei offenem Fenster, die Abkühlung willkommenheißend.

Samstagabend, also. Guter Stimmung und heiterer Absicht streunen wir, der Alternativen rar, hinein in diesen Wettpunkt, Schauplatz zahlreicher Schlägereien mit entsprechender Geräuschkulisse zu jeder Uhr- und Jahreszeit, und ab zum Automaten, zwecks Bier, da Durst.

Ausstattung erwartungsgemäß: Plastikstühle, Plastiktisch, obligate Plastikrunde: leere Gesichter, halbleere Gläser. Knapp unter der Decke ein bleicher, stummer Fernseher, Menschen laufen einem Ball hinterher. Hinter der sicherheitsverglasten Pudel die Kompetenzfigur, man sieht ein kahles Schädelnackensegment, dahinter die Backen, schwere Atmung: Kreuzworträtsel. Der Bunker nach allen Seiten abgeschlossen, die Tür hinten, gleich neben dem Automaten, der sich scheu in die Ecke presst, die Narben zahlreicher Schlachten auf dem Spiegelreflexüberkondenströpfchenantlitz verewigt.

Gösser & Ottakringer großzügig auf 1.50 nivelliert, goldene Mitte, sozusagen. Vier von sechs slots schimmern traurig trübrot mit den Lamperln, offenbar leergeräumt ob der späten Stunde. Bleiben noch zwei, nämlich eben Gösser, des Maurers Segen, also rein mit der Münze.

2 Euro poltern schwer durch den Mechanismus. Jetzt den Knopf mit aller Kraft hauen, auf Nummer sicher. Warten auf die Hülse. Das innere Auge ist geblendet von golden aufsteigenden Bläschen, der Magen gibt ein kurzes lautes Knurren von sich. Die Vorfreude oszilliert durch den Raum, steckt sogar die Gestalten am Tisch an, so etwas wie Kommunikation scheint sich anzubahnen. Nur das charakteristische Poltern der Blechdose, das bleibt aus.

Die Augenbrauen rücken näher zusammen, eine senkrechte Furche zuckt über die Stirn. Noch einmal auf den Knopf einprügeln - Nichts. Nacheinander auf beide Knöpfe - immer noch nichts. Dann, die Erkenntnis dämmert bereits, den Retour-Knopf. Selber Effekt.

Auf der Suche nach Hilfe umsehen, Verzweiflung im Gesicht. Kompetenzfigur muß her, da drinnen lebt sie, hinter der Pudel, da ist ja auch die Tür, also angeklopft.

Schleifende Bewegung aus dem Inneren des Bunkers. Die Tür wird mit aller Kraft aufgerissen, der Oger steht keuchend aber bedrohlich im Türrahmen, der Pelz auf den Schultern heiligenscheinig schimmernd, das ergraute Muskelshirt beinahe den Wanst bedeckend, die nackte Glühbirne spiegelt sich in der schweißnassen Glatze.

"Was du bum bum?! Was haben Problem?! Warum immer bum bum, vorne kommen!!!", brüllt der Bunkeroger, rollt wütend mit dem rechten Auge.

Äh. Automat...

"Was Automat?!!!", brüllt er wieder, bewegt sich jedoch schwerfällig Richtung Dispenser.

Äh. Geld rein, nix Bier, nix Geld...

"Was nix Bier?!!Nix meine Automat!!", verkündet er und schlägt wahl- und erfolglos auf Knöpfe ein. Sein Geist macht einen Satz nach vorn. "Leer!!!", schreit er mich über die Entfernung von 20cm empört an, als wäre das allein meine Schuld und ich ohnehin nicht ausreichend intelligent für die Handhabung komplexer Maschinerie. "Müssen schauen auf Lamperl!! Wenn Lamperl brennt - leer!!!", brüllt er mich an und wischt sich mit der freien Hand den Schweiß aus einer buschigen Augenbraue. Die andere trommelt weiterhin auf die Knöpfe ein. "Lamperl brennt!!", triumphiert er. Ich bin verwirrt.

Äh. Lamperl brennt nix, stammle ich und deute auf die zwei toten Lämpchen neben den Gösser-slots. Einen Bruchteil einer Sekunde lang starrt er mich an, als hätte er noch nie einen dermaßen dummen Menschen gesehen. Dann, eine Oktave höher, am Ende seiner Kräfte, die bebenden Fingerspitzen der rechten Hand kindesbelehrend geballt:

"Lamperl KAPUTT!!!"

Sprach, marschierte kopfschüttelnd in seine Höhle, kam wieder heraus, eine Mineralwasserflasche knöchelweiß umklammernd, und drückte sie mir knurrend in die Hand.

Wir gingen zurück in den rettenden Regen, mißbilligende Blicke auf unseren Rücken.

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The relative difficulties of men's and women's fashion

Both women and men may feel the pressures of keeping their clothing up-to-date and in season, yet men's fashion usually feels a lot simpler. Of course, for both sexes, outfits and style options can be equally as elaborate, and there are many'fashionable'items which can easily become fashion faux pas - who are able to say they frequently see people walking around in 70s flares? On the other side, men's fashion includes a few choice items which can exist forever - which man is going to watch out of position with a good-quality, tailored suit, for instance? Select traditional pieces, colours and materials and you'll never seem out-of-place.

Why traditional men's style is eternal

The basic man's suit has scarcely changed for over a hundred years. True, there are many types for various situations, however they are all popular in their pursuit of a wise, sharp look for the person. The best part about basic style for men is that it's simply stylish effectively cool. A well-groomed gentleman can more often than not look his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and it is a testament to the style of such apparel. A match will be utilized to work in many professions because of the professional search it affords to the individual, instilling a feeling of respect and trust. Equally a suit will be utilized to many social events, such as a tuxedo to a black-tie event. This amazing versatility that allows suits to be used in almost all situations is what gives it its classic side and a lasting devote men's fashion.

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